Understanding Childhood Trauma with Support from Melbourne Psychologists

Understanding the long-term effects of early emotional wounds

At Cova Psychology, many of the people we support come to us carrying experiences that began long ago. Childhood trauma isn’t always visible on the surface, but it can shape the way someone sees the world, relates to others, and understands themselves. Whether you’re exploring this topic for yourself or someone you care about, understanding how childhood trauma works—and how it can be addressed—is an important first step.

What is childhood trauma?

Childhood trauma refers to distressing or frightening experiences that overwhelm a child’s ability to cope. These experiences can range from one-off events—like an accident or natural disaster—to ongoing situations such as abuse, neglect, domestic violence, or living with a parent who struggles with addiction or mental illness.

Trauma can also include less obvious experiences. Emotional neglect, witnessing frequent conflict, or being regularly criticised can have a profound impact on a child’s emotional development, even if there was no physical harm.

Importantly, trauma is not defined by the event alone, but by the child’s response to it. Two children might go through similar situations but be affected in very different ways, depending on factors like temperament, support networks, and the presence of safe adults.

How trauma shows up in adulthood

Many adults who experienced trauma in childhood don’t immediately connect their current struggles to the past. Yet, childhood trauma can quietly influence thoughts, feelings, and behaviours well into adult life.

Some common ways it might show up include:

• Difficulty trusting others or forming close relationships

• Intense fears of rejection or abandonment

• Chronic feelings of shame, low self-worth, or not being ‘good enough’

• Emotional numbness or detachment

• Patterns of people-pleasing or conflict avoidance

• Persistent anxiety, depression, or anger that feels hard to explain

• A sense of being stuck or “always on edge” without knowing why

These patterns are often coping mechanisms developed to survive a difficult environment. While they may have once served a purpose, they can become limiting or distressing over time.

If you’d like to read more about the lingering effects of trauma, our article on psychological trauma and its impact explores these themes in greater depth.

The nervous system and trauma responses

Childhood trauma can affect the development of the brain and nervous system. When a child repeatedly feels unsafe, their system may become “primed” for threat. This means their body might react strongly to stress or perceived danger—even in situations that aren’t truly risky.

This heightened reactivity can persist into adulthood, sometimes leading to symptoms of post-traumatic stress, or difficulties with emotional regulation. It’s not uncommon for people to say things like, “I know I’m overreacting, but I can’t seem to stop it.” These responses aren’t about weakness—they’re rooted in the body’s memory of what it once had to survive.

Why it can be hard to talk about childhood trauma

For many, it takes time to even name their experiences as trauma. Some were told to “just get on with it” or were never given the space to speak about what happened. Others feel guilt or confusion, especially if their caregivers were well-meaning in some ways but caused harm in others.

There can also be fear about opening up old wounds. Understandably, people often worry that exploring their past might make things worse or stir up feelings they don’t know how to handle.

At Cova Psychology in Melbourne, we work at your pace. We know that every story is different, and that trauma recovery isn’t about reliving painful memories—it’s about making sense of them in a safe, supportive space so you can move forward.

Healing from childhood trauma

While the impact of childhood trauma can be long-lasting, healing is absolutely possible. Therapy offers a safe place to process what happened, understand how it’s affecting you now, and develop new ways of responding.

Some of the approaches that may support recovery include:

• Trauma-informed therapy: Creating a space where safety, choice, and trust are prioritised.

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing): An evidence-based therapy that helps the brain reprocess traumatic memories.

• Schema therapy: Exploring long-standing patterns formed in childhood and finding healthier ways to meet emotional needs.

• Attachment-based therapy: Understanding how early relationships shape current ones and building more secure connections.

• Mind-body approaches: Addressing the physical effects of trauma through grounding techniques, breathing exercises, and mindfulness.

If you’re curious about what to expect, our blog post “What is a trauma therapist?” offers a helpful overview of the role a trauma-informed psychologist can play in your recovery.

What if I don’t remember everything?

It’s common for people with childhood trauma to have gaps in their memory. The brain may have “filed away” distressing events to protect you at the time. This doesn’t mean the trauma didn’t happen or that it can’t be worked through.

In therapy, you don’t need to remember every detail. Often, what matters more is how those experiences continue to affect you now—emotionally, relationally, and psychologically. Exploring the patterns and feelings that arise in your current life can be a way into healing, even without a clear narrative of the past.

Childhood trauma doesn’t define you

One of the most powerful shifts we see in therapy is when someone realises: what happened to me is part of my story, but it doesn’t have to shape my future. The coping strategies you developed as a child were creative, even if they’re no longer serving you. And the fact that you’re reading this—whether out of curiosity, concern, or self-reflection—shows strength.

At Cova Psychology, we believe in your capacity to heal. Our psychologists in Melbourne work with warmth, care, and clinical expertise to support your growth. Whether you’re just beginning to reflect on the past or you’ve been carrying the weight of childhood trauma for years, you’re not alone.

Starting therapy for childhood trauma

If you’re considering therapy, it’s natural to have questions. How do I choose the right psychologist? Will they understand what I’ve been through? What if I get overwhelmed?

These are all valid concerns. A good starting point is to find a psychologist who is trauma-informed and experienced in working with the complexities of childhood trauma. At Cova Psychology, we take time to understand your goals and match you with someone who feels like a good fit—not just in terms of clinical skill, but also in terms of connection and comfort.

Our Melbourne-based team includes psychologists and clinical psychologists who provide therapy that’s grounded in evidence and shaped by empathy. We offer both in-person appointments in the Melbourne CBD and online sessions for those who prefer to work from home.

And if you’re not sure where to begin, we’re here to guide you through that too.

When trauma intersects with other concerns

Childhood trauma can sometimes sit beneath other mental health concerns. It may contribute to anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, or struggles with identity and self-esteem. For some, trauma also overlaps with neurodivergence or experiences of discrimination, further complicating how safe and understood they’ve felt in the world.

In some cases, trauma may also contribute to feelings of helplessness. Our blog post on learned helplessness explores how this can develop and the steps that can be taken to overcome it.

We also see links between trauma and chronic health issues, including pain. If this resonates, you might find our page on psychological support for chronic pain helpful as well.

That’s why we don’t see trauma in isolation. At Cova Psychology, our approach is inclusive, holistic, and attuned to the broader context of each person’s life. We work collaboratively with you to explore the intersections of your experience, without judgement.

You don’t need to have all the answers to begin

Many people hesitate to reach out because they feel their trauma “wasn’t that bad” or worry that they’re making a fuss. But trauma is not a competition. If something hurt you or left a lasting impact, it matters. Your feelings are valid—even if you were told otherwise growing up.

Therapy doesn’t require a neat narrative or perfect insight. Sometimes, the healing begins simply by being heard. We won’t tell you what you should feel or how you should heal. Instead, we’ll walk alongside you as you find your own way through.

(And don’t worry—if you get a bit stuck or muddled mid-session, that’s normal. Happens to the best of us, and it’s part of the process.)