How to Tell If Your Therapy Is Still Working for You
Therapy is often described as a journey—but what happens if you’re not sure whether you’re on the right path, or even with the right person walking alongside you?
It’s a common and completely valid question: Is this the right psychologist for me? Whether you’re new to therapy or have been attending for a while, there might come a time when you start to wonder if the fit still feels right.
At Cova Psychology, we often work with people who’ve had mixed or uncertain experiences in therapy before finding the right match. If you’re trying to figure out whether to stay with your current therapist or explore other options, this guide is for you.
(If you’re still at the beginning stages of finding a therapist, you might find our blog on spotting a good therapist a helpful starting point.)
The Importance of the Therapeutic Relationship
Decades of research have shown that the quality of the relationship between client and therapist plays a huge role in whether therapy is effective. While techniques and training matter, it’s the connection that often makes the difference.
You should feel safe, respected, and understood in therapy. That doesn’t mean you’ll always feel comfortable—good therapy can sometimes be confronting—but even in the hard moments, you should feel supported and never judged.
Signs Your Therapist Is a Good Match
If you’re unsure about your current psychologist, the following signs might help clarify whether the relationship is working well:
1. You Feel Genuinely Heard
Your therapist reflects back what you’re saying in a way that makes you feel understood. They notice things beneath the surface, and they don’t just wait to respond—they truly listen.
You may not always agree with them, but you generally feel that they’re attuned to your experience.
2. There’s Some Sense of Progress
Therapy doesn’t have to feel like a lightbulb moment every week. But over time, you should notice subtle changes—maybe in your thoughts, your emotional awareness, or how you respond to stress.
That said, if you’re navigating complex trauma, change can be slow and nonlinear. In these cases, understanding what progress might look like can be more nuanced. (You can read more about this in our blog on understanding complex trauma.)
3. You Feel Comfortable Bringing Things Up
Whether it’s a concern about how a session went, a shift in what you want to focus on, or even whether the therapy itself is helping—you should feel like your therapist is open to that discussion.
If you don’t feel safe giving feedback, that’s a dynamic worth reflecting on.
4. Your Therapist Works With You, Not On You
Therapy isn’t a passive experience. The best psychologists don’t impose their view or assume they know what’s best—they walk alongside you, ask thoughtful questions, and help you uncover your own clarity.
It should feel like a process you’re actively part of—not something being delivered to you.
When to Stay—Even If Things Feel Uncomfortable
It’s important not to confuse emotional discomfort with a poor fit. Sometimes we want to back away from therapy precisely because it’s touching something tender.
You may want to stay with your current psychologist if:
You’ve only had a handful of sessions—it’s still early
You’ve been exploring difficult material that leaves you feeling raw
You’re building trust slowly, especially if previous relationships or therapy experiences have left you guarded
You haven’t yet expressed what you need from therapy
It’s also possible that your current unease is part of a pattern worth exploring. Your therapist might even help you unpack that safely—another sign they may actually be the right fit.
To get the most out of your sessions during these early stages, you might find our tips on making therapy work helpful.
When to Consider a Change
Of course, there are times when therapy isn’t the right fit—and staying too long can become disheartening. If any of the following has been happening consistently, it might be time to reflect on whether this is the best match for you:
1. You Don’t Feel Heard
If your therapist often seems distracted, repeats the same advice without tailoring it to you, or misses what feels important—that’s worth noticing.
A good psychologist doesn’t have to get it right all the time, but you should feel like they’re trying to understand you, not fitting you into a template.
2. Your Concerns Aren’t Taken Seriously
If you’ve tried to raise something (for example, that you feel stuck or not connected) and it’s been dismissed or minimised, that can impact trust. A skilled therapist will be open to that feedback, even if it’s uncomfortable to hear.
3. Their Approach Doesn’t Match What You Need
Some people benefit from a more structured style, others want a space to explore without a set agenda. If your therapist’s approach consistently clashes with your needs or preferences—and there’s little flexibility—it might be time to look for someone better suited to your goals.
If you’re unsure what kind of professional or therapy style fits you best, you might find clarity in our blog on the differences between psychologists and therapists.
4. You’ve Felt Stuck for a Long Time
Every therapeutic journey has lulls, but if you’ve been in the same spot for months and your psychologist hasn’t brought it up or changed the approach, you’re allowed to question whether the work is still helping.
That’s not a failure—sometimes, we just outgrow the fit.
What If You’re Not Sure?
There’s no shame in being uncertain. You might ask yourself:
Do I feel emotionally safe here?
Have I expressed what I’m hoping to get from therapy?
Has my therapist responded with flexibility or defensiveness?
Do I feel like we’re working toward something, even slowly?
It’s okay not to have a clear answer. You might even talk this through with your psychologist—they may have sensed something too.
If you’d like more insight into what psychologists actually do and how we work, our Melbourne FAQ page covers common questions about therapy, goals, and how to get started or make a change.
Changing Psychologists at Cova Psychology
If you’re considering changing therapists, know that it’s a brave and thoughtful choice. At Cova Psychology, we value fit—not just availability. If something isn’t working, we won’t take it personally. We’ll do our best to understand your experience and help connect you with a psychologist who might feel like a better match.
Sometimes, the most healing thing a therapist can do is support you in finding the right person—even if it isn’t them.
Getting Support with the Right Psychologist in Melbourne
Whether you’re feeling unsure about your current therapist, starting from scratch, or simply wanting to work with someone who truly gets you—we’re here to help.
At Cova Psychology, our psychologists in Melbourne offer evidence-based, compassionate therapy both in person and via teleehealth. We take time to understand your needs and support you in finding the right fit for this stage of your life.
You don’t have to keep wondering if it’s right. Reach out today and let’s talk through what would support you best.
Dr. Sarah Valentine
Sarah is a Clinical Psychologist and co-director of Cova Psychology. She has worked in a range of settings in both the public and private sectors of mental health system in Melbourne over the past 20 years. Sarah is passionate about helping her clients heal trauma, is an experienced EMDR therapist and also incorporates Schema Therapy and Mentalisation Based Therapy (MBT) into her work. She is a board approved supervisor and mentor and enjoys supporting psychologists at all stages of their career.