- 29th November 2024
A client recently asked me if they could talk about “sex” in therapy. Up until that moment they had talked about every other private and sensitive area of their life, but sex was the one topic they hadn’t touched on. What struck me was that my client wasn’t sure if it was okay to bring it up, even though they had shared many things with that me they had never told anyone else. This experience had me reflecting on how how private and intimate details often come out in therapy but sex can feel like a taboo even in a safe space.
We keep our sex lives so private and sensitive it’s no wonder sex and sexual health doesn’t naturally come up in the therapy room. For some it may even feel to sensitive or private to discuss. I’m writing this to remind you that therapy is a safe space to talk about sex, explore desires and sexuality and work on how you experience these parts of your life. This intersection of sexual and mental health needs more attention and this blog will highlight how psychologists can help – covering the varying aspects of sexual well being as well as some of the clinical sexual health issues (such as psychosexual disorders) that can be treated in therapy.
Sexual Health: A Psychologist’s Perspective
Sexual health is not just physical it’s deeply connected to our psychological and emotional well being. Factors like body image, self esteem, communication and intimacy dynamics can impact how we experience sex and sexuality. Anxiety, stress, past trauma or feelings of guilt or shame can create barriers to sexual satisfaction or exploration. Psychologists help individuals and couples unpack these factors, so they can have healthier relationships with themselves and their partners. By addressing the psychological aspects of sexual health therapy (including CBT) can help us understand and change.
How Psychologists Can Help with Sexual Health
Psychologists provide a safe space to explore and work on a range of sexual health issues, helping individuals to understand their sexual identity, desires and boundaries. Compulsive pornography use can lead to social isolation and make it hard to maintain intimate relationships. Therapy can help clients work through challenges like communication issues in relationships, self esteem or intimacy struggles and the emotional complexities of sexuality. By increasing self awareness and providing practical tools psychologists can help you grow. Below are some examples of non clinical sexual health issues clients may work on in therapy.
Working on Sexual Identity and Sexuality with a Psychologist
Psychologists can help individuals work through questions around sexual identity and sexuality so they can better understand and accept themselves. This might mean exploring uncertainty around sexual orientation, navigating changes in sexual preferences or desires or working through societal or cultural challenges around identity. Therapy can also boost sexual confidence by addressing feelings, thoughts and concerns around sex and intimacy. Therapy can also address shame or confusion, increase self acceptance and help individuals build confidence in relationships. Psychologists provide a space to explore and affirm your sexual identity in line with your values and goals.
Working on Communication and Intimacy Barriers with a Psychologist
Psychologists can help individuals and couples work through communication challenges and address barriers in relationships. This can mean improving conflict resolution skills, exploring patterns of misunderstanding or working through emotional walls that block connection. Therapy can also focus on increasing empathy, identifying unmet needs or addressing underlying issues like trust or intimacy concerns. By developing healthier communication tools and addressing relational barriers individuals and couples can build stronger more fulfilling relationships that benefit both themselves and each other.
Body Image and Sexual Health in Therapy
Body image issues can impact sexual health and confidence and create barriers to intimacy and self expression. Sexual problems have multiple causes including psychological, physical or relational and can cause significant emotional pain. Psychologists can help individuals work through and challenge negative body image beliefs, increase self compassion and have a healthier relationship with their body. Therapy may focus on reducing shame, building self esteem and how societal pressure affects your body image. By working through these issues individuals can improve their sexual well being and feel more comfortable and confident in themselves and their relationships.
Clinical Sexual Health Issues and Sexual Problems in Therapy
Psychologists also address complex emotional or psychological sexual health concerns, which may include:
Sexual Dysfunction: Psychologists work with individuals and couples experiencing difficulties such as erectile dysfunction, low libido or pain during sex. They address the emotional and psychological factors that contribute to these issues.
Trauma and Abuse: Psychological trauma from past sexual abuse or assault can have lasting effects on sexual health. Psychologists provide trauma informed care to help individuals process their experience and reclaim their sexual well being. Sexual trauma can impact personal wellbeing and sexual relationships and therapy provides a safe space to support survivors.
Relationship Issues: For couples experiencing intimacy issues a psychologist can work with you to rebuild trust, improve communication and increase sexual connection.
Paraphilias and Sexual Addictions: Psychologists can help individuals with compulsive sexual behaviour or paraphilias (atypical sexual interests) to manage these behaviours in a healthy way. Therapy can also address sex addiction which can impact on personal functioning and relationships.
When to Seek Help
We often forget how uncomfortable some clients can be about talking about sexual health in therapy because it’s so personal. But it’s important to remember that therapy is a safe and non judgemental space to explore these issues. If you’re experiencing sexual health challenges a psychologist can help you work through the emotional and psychological factors involved. Whether you’re dealing with relationship issues, past trauma or self confidence struggles therapy can provide tailored support to improve your sexual well being. Reaching out for help is the first step to healing and having a healthier more positive relationship with your sexuality.
How Our Melbourne Psychologists Can Assist
At Cova Psychology we understand the link between mental health and sexual well being. We know the impact of sexual trauma on personal wellbeing and sexual relationships and support survivors in re connecting with their sexual self. Our team of experienced psychologists provide a safe and confidential space to work on sexual health issues whether you’re experiencing relationship difficulties, trauma or body image concerns. We offer compassionate evidence based therapy tailored to your needs to help you have a healthier relationship with your sexuality and work through the underlying emotional and psychological factors. If you’re ready to start your journey we’re here to support you every step of the way.
If you found this blog helpful, stay tuned for our upcoming post on psychosexual disorders, where we’ll explore how psychological support can address these challenges and help you build a healthier relationship with your sexual and mental well-being.
Dr. Chris Coleiro
Chris is Clinical Psychologist and a co-director of Cova Psychology, located in the Melbourne CBD, where he provides supervision to psychologists whilst cultivating a supportive culture within the Cova team. Chris has worked extensively in the assessment and treatment of trauma, PTSD, and Borderline Personality Disorder. He combines a range of therapies in his approach including CBT, Schema Therapy, EMDR and IFS. Chris is a member of the Australian Psychological Society (APS), the APS college of Clinical Psychology, and of the Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing Australian Association (EMDRAA).
