- 13th February 2025
Introduction: The Hidden Weight of Shame
At Cova Psychology, we have a special interest in treating trauma. Many of our clients experience a deep sense of shame connected to past experiences. Shame is a profoundly painful emotion—one that is often silent, hidden, and difficult to express. Unlike guilt, which arises from something we have done, shame is tied to who we are. It creates the belief that we are fundamentally flawed, broken, or unworthy.
For many trauma survivors, shame is not just an emotional response but something that shapes their self-perception. It lingers beneath the surface, influencing relationships, self-esteem, and mental health in ways that are difficult to recognise. Shame can manifest as self-criticism, emotional withdrawal, or destructive coping strategies. Research has shown that trauma-related shame is closely linked to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), emotion dysregulation, and self-destructive behaviours. It can also be one of the biggest barriers to seeking help, as it makes people feel unworthy of support or healing.
Table of Contents
The Origins of Trauma-Related Shame
The origins of trauma-related shame can be complex. It may stem from childhood maltreatment, interpersonal violence, or experiences of humiliation and degradation. In cases of sexual trauma, shame can be particularly pronounced. Survivors often internalise blame or feel contaminated. Cultural and societal narratives further reinforce these feelings, making shame an isolating and deeply entrenched response to trauma.
But shame is not an unchangeable truth. It is a learned response, and like any learned response, it can be unlearned. Understanding how shame develops, recognising its impact, and finding effective ways to process and heal from it can be transformative. Emerging research highlights several therapeutic approaches that can help, including cognitive-behavioural strategies, self-compassion practices, mindfulness, and trauma-focused therapies such as EMDR.
This blog will explore the nature of trauma-related shame, its impact on mental health, what the research tells us, and the most effective approaches for healing. By breaking the silence around shame, we can challenge its hold and create space for self-compassion, connection, and recovery.
What is Trauma-Related Shame?
Trauma-related shame is more than just a painful emotion. It is a deep-seated belief that something is inherently wrong with us. Unlike guilt, which is tied to a specific action or decision, shame affects identity. It convinces people they are defective, unworthy, or fundamentally bad. For many trauma survivors, this feeling isn’t temporary—it embeds itself into their sense of self, shaping how they relate to the world.
Shame often takes root in early experiences, particularly in childhood maltreatment, neglect, or abuse. When children experience trauma, they often lack the ability to understand that what happened to them was not their fault. Instead, they internalise the belief that they must have deserved it. This can create a foundation for chronic self-judgement, self-criticism, and an enduring sense of inadequacy.
How Trauma-Related Shame Develops
Interpersonal trauma in adulthood—such as sexual violence, betrayal trauma, or intimate partner abuse—can also be a major source of shame. Many survivors struggle with overwhelming feelings of self-blame, particularly in a culture that reinforces harmful narratives about trauma. Victim-blaming messages, societal stigma, and unrealistic expectations about how someone “should” respond to trauma make these feelings worse. When survivors are met with judgment, disbelief, or silence, shame can become even more deeply ingrained.
Research has shown that trauma-related shame presents differently across individuals, particularly those with PTSD. The Trauma-Related Shame Inventory (TRSI) helps measure the impact of shame in PTSD patients. Findings suggest that trauma-related shame is not just general embarrassment or regret. Instead, it is a structured and pervasive self-perception that interacts with self-judgment, depression, and distress. Studies using the TRSI also confirm that shame is distinct from guilt. While guilt may lead to attempts at repair, shame often results in withdrawal, avoidance, and self-punishment.
The Impact of Trauma-Related Shame on Mental Health
Trauma-related shame doesn’t just sit in the background. It actively shapes how a person experiences themselves and the world. It influences thoughts, emotions, and behaviours, often reinforcing cycles of distress and avoidance. For many trauma survivors, shame is not just a painful feeling—it dictates how they relate to others, manage emotions, and seek (or avoid) support.
Shame and PTSD: A Reinforcing Loop
Research consistently shows that trauma-related shame is a strong predictor of PTSD severity. Unlike guilt, which can sometimes motivate repair, shame isolates people in self-blame and makes recovery more difficult. People who experience intense shame after trauma are more likely to struggle with hyperarousal, intrusive thoughts, and avoidance.
Avoidance provides short-term relief but reinforces long-term distress. When shame drives avoidance, survivors may feel reluctant to seek help or engage in therapy. This makes it harder to process and heal from trauma.
The Experience of Mental Contamination
For some trauma survivors, particularly those who have experienced sexual violence, shame manifests as a persistent feeling of being contaminated or dirty. This is known as mental contamination—a phenomenon where a person feels tainted or stained at a deep, internal level.
Unlike general distress, mental contamination is uniquely linked to trauma-related shame. It creates an ongoing sense of defilement, leading individuals to engage in excessive washing, self-punishment, or withdrawal from physical intimacy. Studies suggest that these feelings of contamination are not driven by guilt but by shame—reinforcing the idea that the survivor is the problem, rather than the trauma being something that happened to them.
Shame and Emotional Dysregulation
One of the most damaging aspects of trauma-related shame is its impact on emotional regulation. Shame is an overwhelming emotion, and many people respond to it by suppressing or avoiding their feelings. However, the more a person suppresses emotions, the more those emotions build up and surface in distressing ways.
This difficulty in managing emotions can lead to:
- Intense emotional outbursts or shutting down completely.
- Difficulty trusting and connecting with others.
- A sense of disconnection from one’s own body and feelings.
Studies on emotion dysregulation suggest that shame plays a key role in why some people develop PTSD after trauma while others do not. It interferes with the ability to process what happened, trapping individuals in cycles of distress and avoidance.
Coping Through Self-Destructive Behaviours
When shame becomes deeply entrenched, people often turn to coping mechanisms that provide temporary relief but come at a long-term cost. These can include:
- Self-harm – Some individuals use self-harm as a way to release shame or regain a sense of control. For some people this is part of their experience of Borderline Personality Disorder.
- Substance use – Alcohol and drugs can numb the emotional pain of shame but often lead to further disconnection and distress.
- Disordered eating – Restrictive eating, binge eating, or purging behaviours may emerge as attempts to manage shame and regain a sense of control.
Many trauma survivors don’t consciously link these behaviours to shame. However, at their core, these behaviours often serve as self-punishment or an escape from overwhelming emotions. Unfortunately, these coping strategies tend to reinforce shame, leading to greater distress over time.
What Does the Research Say About Trauma-Related Shame?
Trauma-related shame is not just a reaction to trauma. It plays a central role in how individuals process their experiences and influences the severity of psychological distress. Research consistently links shame to PTSD symptoms, emotional dysregulation, and negative self-perceptions, often making recovery more challenging. Unlike other emotional responses to trauma, shame is pervasive and self-reinforcing, affecting thoughts, emotions, and behaviours in ways that can be difficult to recognise and address.
Shame as a Predictor of PTSD Severity
Research has established that trauma-related shame is a strong predictor of PTSD severity. Individuals who experience intense shame after trauma often report higher levels of hyperarousal, avoidance, and intrusive memories, even when other emotions, such as guilt, are considered. Shame exacerbates PTSD symptoms by reinforcing negative self-beliefs, leading individuals to feel defective or unworthy of support.
Studies indicate that shame explains a significant portion of PTSD symptom variance, suggesting it is not just a by-product of trauma but an active contributor to long-term distress. This highlights the need to recognise shame as a distinct and clinically significant aspect of PTSD rather than a secondary symptom.
How Shame Shapes Trauma-Related Beliefs
Shame influences how individuals interpret trauma, shaping their self-perception. Psychological models suggest shame arises when people make internal, stable, and global attributions about their experiences:
Internal attributions: Seeing the trauma as their fault.
Stable attributions: Believing they are permanently flawed.
Global attributions: Feeling defective in all areas of life.
These patterns create a self-perpetuating cycle—the more someone sees their trauma as evidence of personal failure, the deeper their shame becomes. Research shows that shame mediates the relationship between these trauma-related attributions and PTSD severity, meaning negative self-beliefs significantly influence long-term distress.
The Link Between Shame and Emotional Dysregulation
Trauma-related shame is strongly linked to emotional dysregulation, making it difficult for individuals to manage emotions effectively. People with high levels of shame often experience intense emotional fluctuations and may struggle to self-soothe after distressing experiences.
Studies examining individuals with various emotional disorders, including borderline personality disorder (BPD), show that those with high levels of shame report greater emotional instability. This suggests that shame plays a role beyond PTSD, affecting emotional processing across different psychological conditions.
Shame and Broader Psychological Distress
Beyond PTSD, shame is linked to various mental health difficulties, including depression, dissociation, and chronic loneliness. Unlike other distressing emotions that fluctuate, shame often becomes embedded in a person’s identity, making it resistant to change without intervention.
Research shows that individuals with severe shame experience higher levels of negative emotions and struggle to feel joy, connection, or self-compassion. This contributes to emotional dysfunction, making it harder to seek support, engage in relationships, or feel hopeful about recovery.
Healing Trauma-Related Shame: Effective Therapy Approaches
Shame can feel inescapable, shaping self-perception and interactions with the world. However, research consistently shows that shame is not a fixed state—it can be transformed with the right therapeutic approach. Addressing shame directly with a therapist, rather than avoiding or suppressing it, is key to breaking its hold and fostering long-term recovery. If you’re looking for a psychologist in Melbourne, finding the right fit can be important. Learn more about how we can help.
Several evidence-based interventions help individuals challenge shame-based beliefs, regulate emotions, and rebuild self-worth.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for Shame
CBT is one of the most effective treatments for shame. It helps individuals identify, challenge, and restructure negative self-beliefs, such as shifting from “I am broken” to “I survived something terrible, but it does not define my worth.”
Exposure-based CBT techniques can also help individuals confront emotions and memories they have been avoiding due to shame. By reducing avoidance behaviours, shame loses its power over time.
Self-Compassion and Acceptance-Based Approaches
While CBT focuses on restructuring beliefs, self-compassion-based therapies help reduce self-judgment and harsh self-criticism. Approaches like Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) and Self-Acceptance Group Therapy (SAGT) help individuals:
Recognise that shame is a learned response, not a reflection of personal failure.
Shift from self-judgment to self-kindness.
Develop a stronger sense of self-worth, independent of past trauma.
Research shows that self-compassion interventions significantly reduce shame, loneliness, and emotional dysregulation, making them particularly effective for those with deep-seated feelings of unworthiness.
EMDR and Trauma Processing Techniques
Shame is not just a cognitive or emotional experience—it is also physiological, often manifesting as tension, avoidance, or deep discomfort. Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) has been shown to be effective in processing trauma-related shame by changing how the brain stores and responds to traumatic memories.
Through bilateral stimulation (such as eye movements or tapping) while recalling distressing memories, EMDR helps reduce the emotional intensity associated with trauma. Many individuals report a decrease in shame, gaining a new perspective on their experiences.
Narrative Therapy and Expressive Writing
For many, shame is reinforced by the story they tell themselves about their trauma. Narrative therapy and expressive writing can help individuals reframe their experiences and reclaim their identity.
Writing about trauma—particularly in a structured, self-compassionate way—can help:
Challenge the belief that trauma defines them.
Gain distance from shame by externalising experiences.
Shift perspectives from “I am damaged” to “I went through something painful, but I am more than my trauma.”
Research shows that structured storytelling or writing exercises can reduce shame-related distress and improve emotional regulation, making them accessible and effective tools for healing.
Final Thoughts: Releasing Shame, Reclaiming Strength
Healing from trauma-related shame is not about erasing the past but changing how it is held in the present. Shame convinces people that they are defined by their worst experiences, but in reality, it is a learned emotional response that can be challenged and reshaped.
Recovery takes time, patience, and support, but it is entirely possible. Through cognitive restructuring, self-compassion, trauma processing, and storytelling, individuals can begin to reclaim a sense of self that is not rooted in shame but in resilience and self-worth.
If trauma-related shame has been holding you back, you do not have to carry it alone. Seeking support from a trauma-informed psychologist can be a vital step toward healing. Shame is not a reflection of who you are—it is something that can be worked through, and it does not have to define you.
Dr. Chris Coleiro
Chris is Clinical Psychologist and a co-director of Cova Psychology, located in the Melbourne CBD, where he provides supervision to psychologists whilst cultivating a supportive culture within the Cova team. Chris has worked extensively in the assessment and treatment of trauma, PTSD, and Borderline Personality Disorder. He combines a range of therapies in his approach including CBT, Schema Therapy, EMDR and IFS. Chris is a member of the Australian Psychological Society (APS), the APS college of Clinical Psychology, and of the Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing Australian Association (EMDRAA).
